Streaming Review: HONEY DON'T!

If you are debating whether or not to check out the latest Ethan Coen Written & Directed Dark Comedy/Mystery/Thriller (now streaming on PEACOCK for free, or you can rent it on Amazon, Apple, etc…), I have two words for you…

HONEY, DON’T

Not only is that the name of the film, that is my warning to you.

The 2nd solo Directing effort from 1/2 of the Coen Bros duo (FARGO), Honey Don’t shows that Ethan Coen (last year’s turkey DRIVE AWAY DOLLS) must be the untalented one for this film (as well as Drive Away Dolls) is long on substance, violence, nudity and graphic language, but has little in the way of plot, dialogue and characters you walk away remembering in this modern telling of a classic hard-boiled Private Eye story.

Except one.

Margaret Qualley (the aforementioned DRIVE AWAY DOLLS) stars as Private Detective Honey O’Donahue, who gets pulled into a series of murders presumably connected to a local church. She follows her hunches to uncover much more than meets the eye.

But there is much that DOES meet the eye, for Coen decides to undress most of the cast members in a series of “titillating” events that become rather boring and forgettable in the wake of the obvious attempt at saying “but they’re doing that boring thing while naked”. A compelling movie that does not make and Qualley is not a gifted enough performer to elevate her rather thinly written character into something Bogart-esque.

Chris Evans (you know, CAPTAIN AMERICA) continues his “I’m not Captain America” tour as the leader of the church who is the all-too-obvious main suspect in the case and he tries everything in his book to show that he is more than “just Captain America”. He succeeds in that, but fails in any attempt to move his career forward.

Absolutely everyone else in this cast is too good looking (even if the make-up people try to make them ugly, “street people”) …and forgettable. It’s like watching a fashion show. There are lots of pretty people up there (too pretty for the types of characters they are playing), but they tend to blend into one another after awhile.

The lone exception to this is Aubrey Plaza (you know, April from PARKS & RECREATION) who, on the surface, portrays a burnt out Police Officer who is having an affair with Qualley’s character, but who’s inner turmoil bubbles out from time to time and her monologue later in the movie is the only “must see thing” in this film.

All of this is wrapped up in a murder mystery plot that Barnaby Jones or Mannix (TV Detectives of the ‘70’s) would be embarrassed to show on their weekly shows.

This is going to be the 2nd year in a row that a Dark Comedy/Mystery/Thriller Written and Directed by Ethan Coen and starring Margaret Qualley ends up in my Bottom 10 films of the year.

All 3 of us better start re-examining our choices.

Letter Grade: C

5 stars (out of 10) and you can take that to the Bank (ofMarquis)